Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas hangs out at a vape lounge
The vape lounge is in an indiscreet strip mall somewhere in a Maryland suburb on the outskirts of Washington D.C..
Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas slouches on the leather sofa in the lounge while he sucks off a stubby, black vaporizer. The vaporizer hisses.
He then holds the vaporizer up and examines it like a connoisseur on a lit cigar.
“What else shall I relegate to state legislators?” He says to the vaporizer. “Trans gender equality? EPA restrictions? Miranda rights? Hahaha! God Bless America. So much freedom that I can destroy freedom.”
Suddenly, Trenton (one of his clerks) comes storming in.
“Your honor!” Trenton shouts. “There’s a riot in front of the courthouse! Word is you’re about to strike down gay marriage!”
“Trenton,” says the Supreme Court Justice. “Go to my office and call the police! Have those gays maced on sight!”
“Yes, sir!” Trenton says.
Trenton leaves.
Another clerk comes storming in. Her name is Zepphronia.
“Your honor!” Zepphronia shouts. “There’s a riot in front of the courthouse! Word is they think you’re going to ban interracial marriage!”
“Hmmm,” the Supreme Court Justice says thinking about his white wife, Ginni. “Ginni and I had a good run. Maybe it’s a perfect excuse for me to get out of our loveless marriage. Zepphronia! Go to my office and get divorce papers drawn up!”
“Yes, sir!” Zepphronia says.
Zepphronia leaves.
But before the entrance door closes shut, Elverado, the third clerk, storms in.
“Your honor!” Elverado shouts. “There’s a riot in front of the courthouse! Word is the FDA plans on banning vape products across the country.”
“That’s an outrage!” The Supreme Court Justice says. “Elverado, you go to my office right now and type up my dissension immediately! There are things called freedoms in this country. My body, my choice!”
“Yes, sir!” Says Elverado.
Clarence Thomas leans back into the sofa and takes another big hit.
Without knowing it, his lungs become afflicted with emphysema.