Justice Samuel Alito walks into a Mexican abortion clinic

“Help!” the Roman Catholic justice yelps.  “Help!  Yo necesisto un doctor!”

A Mexican doctor of low gravity proportions appears from behind a curtain.

“Sir!  Sir!” says the Mexican doctor.  “Please calm down!  May I help you?”

“I need an abortion!” says Justice Alito.

“You?” exclaims the Mexican doctor.  “But you are a man!”

Justice Alito lifts up his black justice robe to reveal a very pregnant belly.

“But how?” asks the confused Mexican doctor.

“I was raped!” cries Justice Alito.

“By who?” asks the Mexican doctor.

“By God Himself!” cries Justice Alito.  “He appeared before me in the image of Anton Scalia!  I couldn’t help but be seduced!"

The Mexican doctor makes the sign of the cross and kisses his hand.

“Dios mío!” the Mexican doctor mutters.  “Come to the backroom right away!”

The abortion was a success and God’s bastard son is no more.

But because clinics outside of the United States are less than ideal, Justice Alito’s uterus and vagina succumbed to medical issues.