Fat Satan goes to Golden Corral amidst a food shortage

Fat Satan is hungry and decides to feast on whatever his black heart desires at a Golden Corral in London, Kentucky (the 2nd largest London in the U.S.A.)

Fat Satan goes to the register and discovers the All You Can Eat buffet is now a whopping $175 per person.

Fat Satan is outraged.

“What in the hell?” Fat Satan says.  “I devour human souls at lower prices than this!”

The hostess flashes a warm, corporate smile.  “As you may well know,” she says, “the world is undergoing a food shortage due to various factors such as corn shortages, the war in the Ukraine, rising oil prices, economic recessions, COVID lockdowns, the bird flu, supply chain issues, lack of competent truck drivers, and innumerable inflation pressures which, in the end, force us at Golden Corral to raise our prices.  We thank you for understanding.”

“Oh, so passing the buck on to your customers, eh?” Fat Satan says.

“We at Golden Corral feel the whole situation is unfortunate but necessary to sustain our corporate model, which is a passion for a wide variety of home-style country dishes at an incredible value,” says the hostess.

“This cannot stand, woman!” Fat Satan says.  “I want to talk to your manager!”

The hostess calls up the manager, who shows up at the register.

The manager is Fat Jehovah, a corporate God stooge who takes pleasure in enforcing unreasonable corporate policies.

“You!” exclaims Fat Satan.  “The last time I saw you, you were waiting tables at Cracker Barrel!”

“Well well well,” Fat Jehovah says.  “We meet again.”

“$175 for an all-you-can-eat buffet is a monstrous act of corporate greed!” Fat Satan says.

“It’s simple Keynesian economics,” Fat Jehovah says. “Demand goes up, inventory goes down, prices go up, yada yada.”

“There needs to be a demand for food at these prices!” Fat Satan says.  “How can you justify the price when there is no demand!”

“Look around you,” Fat Jehovah says.  “There are a lot of people engorging themselves at our buffet.  Obviously, they can afford it.”

“By racking up debt on a credit card they cannot pay off!”

“It’s not the job of Golden Corral to teach fiscal responsibility,” Fat Jehovah says.  “In fact, financial illiteracy might be your doing, Satan, am I right?”

“This world is getting out of hand!” Fat Satan says.  “It didn’t have to come to this!  Whatever happened to old fashioned cartoony evil?”

“It’s too antiquated,” Fat Jehovah says.  “These days, people adapt to whatever travails comes there way. All of which is also your doing.  Now, are you just going to stand there and hold up the line like a ‘Karen’?  Or are you going to pay up and enjoy our delicious signature dishes?”

A month later, Fat Satan missed his monthly credit card payment. 

So the final total for the buffet, after interest, came out to $210.