A boy who wanted to celebrate Earth Day
A boy goes to his dad.
“Dad!” he says. “Let’s celebrate Earth Day!”
“How do you want to celebrate it, son?” asks the dad.
“I want to plant a tree!” says the boy.
“Ok, kiddo,” says the dad.
The dad goes into the woods, cuts a tree down, then comes back with it to show his son.
“Where do you want to plant it, son?” the dad says.
“Dad!” exclaimed the son. “You killed a tree!”
“Well duh,” says the dad. “You wanted to plant a tree. So here’s a tree.”
“We plant baby trees on Earth Day!” says the boy.
“Where do we get baby trees from?” asks the dad.
“The store!” says the boy.
So they go to Home Depot and buy a baby Korean Lilac. When they bring it back, the dad breaks the baby tree off its roots.
“Where do you want to plant it, son?”, asks the dad.
“Dad!” the boy screams. “You killed the baby tree!”
The dad sighs, drops the broken baby tree to the ground, then walks to the nearest nationally accredited mental health care center.
A doctor greets him.
“Your son again?” asks the doctor.
“Yes sir,” says the dad.
He tells the doctor the whole convoluted story.
“Mr. Karabekian,” interrupts the doctor finally. “I have told you before that you don’t have a son. This is a reoccurring hallucination with you. Which means you have not been taking your medication. Also, Home Depot does not sell Korean Lilacs. And there is no such thing as Earth Day.”
Mr. Karabekian has never realized his consciousness continually transports itself between two Earth variants: Earth #410 and our Earth, which is Earth #23.
“And another thing, Mr. Karabekian,” the doctor says. “This facility is not a mental hospital. It is, in fact, an abandoned K-Mart.”
Mr. Karabekian slowly cackles.
The doctor continues. “And…I am not here…in front of you…speaking to you. In fact, in fact: I do not exist at all. I am a figment of your imagination. Just like your son.”
Mr. Karabekian cackles until the mania consumes him.
“Oh come now,” the doctor says. “Mental illness is not a condition one should laugh at.”